Naikan Therapy: A Japanese Practice of Self-Reflection

Naikan therapy is not widely known in New Zealand, but I first learned this method in the 1990s while studying at a university in Osaka, Japan. Since then, I have used Naikan in my daily practice and personally as a tool for self-care and stress management. Many of my clients have found it transformative, helping them process life events, relationships, and stress at a calm, gentle pace.

Some client experiences include:

Accessing previously hidden memories safely, allowing emotional processing without overwhelm.
Cultivating appreciation, forgiveness, and gratitude, gaining a broader and more holistic view of life.
Developing self-awareness and self-realization, recognizing their strength, resilience, and inherent worth rather than self-blame or judgment.

What is Naikan Therapy?（内観）

In Japanese, 内　“Nai” means “inside,” and 観“Kan” means “observe” or “watch.” Naikan literally translates as “looking inward” or self-reflection.

Historically, Buddhist monks in Japan would withdraw from personal relationships to focus on serving their communities. Their rigorous training included study of Buddhism, physical conditioning, and mental discipline to prepare them for roles as counselors, mediators, social workers, and advisors. Naikan was part of this training, helping monks understand themselves deeply, cultivate resilience, and develop wisdom and compassion.

Origins of Naikan Therapy

Naikan therapy was formalized by the Japanese Buddhist monk and practitioner Ishin Yoshimoto (1916–1988) in the mid-20th century. Yoshimoto encouraged people to use Naikan to understand their identity and the meaning of their relationships. He believed that by reflecting on past experiences and relationships, individuals can discover who they truly are.

Naikan reflects a uniquely Japanese approach, emphasizing collective and spiritual perspectives. It encourages people to appreciate the interconnectedness of life, understand their role within relationships, and cultivate gratitude and personal insight.

How I Use Naikan in My Practice

As a therapist, I personally experience any new therapy method before introducing it to clients, ensuring it is safe, effective, and beneficial. I first practiced Naikan in 1995. Following my lecturer’s guidance, I began with people in my life where the emotional load was manageable.

The Naikan Method

Naikan reflection is guided by three core questions:

What have I received from this person?
What have I given to this person?
What troubles or difficulties have I caused this person?

For my first Naikan practice with an old friend, I discovered:

She had emotionally supported me and taught me the meaning of friendship.
I had brought her joy during difficult times with her family.
By reflecting on what I learned from the relationship, I realized that I value love for friends, humans, animals, nature, and the world.

Over time, I practiced Naikan with about ten important people in my life, deepening my understanding of myself, my philosophy, my strengths and weaknesses, and cultivating gratitude and a positive worldview.

Benefits of Naikan

One client, B, experienced the power of Naikan while recovering from years of domestic abuse. She had endured emotional and physical trauma, and her children had been affected as well. B initially blamed herself and struggled with anxiety, anger, and regret.

Through Naikan, B reflected on her relationships with her ex-husband and his family. She discovered that amidst the pain, there were also moments of care and connection. She told me:

“I realized I actually loved my ex-husband and his family at times. I could now forgive the past and move on without self-blame.”

Through continued practice, B:

Developed a sense of personal strength and resilience
Gained the confidence to start a new life without anxiety
Cultivated appreciation for her past relationships
Pursued new goals, including studying at university
Learned to calm herself and live in the present moment

B’s children also noticed her transformation:

“Our mum is happier now. She’s a different person.”

From cases like B’s, I have observed that Naikan can:

Help survivors of trauma reframe past relationships
Empower vulnerable migrants to gain strength and self-awareness
Support family healing by fostering calmness and clarity
Enhance the impact of therapy within communities, even with limited intervention
Promote overall mental and physical well-being through reflection and presence

My Personal Daily Naikan Practice

Since the 1990s, I have practiced Naikan daily before bed, reflecting with three questions:

How did I help people today?
Who helped me today?
What did I learn today, and what am I grateful for?

This daily reflection has become a cornerstone of my self-care and stress management, grounding me in gratitude, calmness, and clarity.

Naikan therapy offers a gentle yet powerful path to understanding ourselves, healing relationships, and cultivating inner peace. If you would like to learn more or experience Naikan therapy, please contact me.

Let’s practice Naikan together and create more happiness and presence in our lives!